Taco Night

I made tacos last night. This is pretty much how it went:








Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you, the Human Garbage Disposal.
There were no leftovers.

xo,
Bridget Marie

The Constellation Energy Umbrella

E-mail to my friend Mike (who gave me the constellation energy umbrella):

This morning I woke up to find that the skies were very angry. Upon leaving the house, I looked into the coat closet for an umbrella to shield me from these tiny cold droplets of hell.

I found three umbrellas. One was black. One was red. And one had “Constellation energy” written on it in big letters with a little company logo.

I thought to myself, “I’ll try the constellation energy umbrella”

When I opened it, it pinched my finger. I should have known then it was a piece of sh**.

When I walked outside I felt a hefty dribble of rain on top of my head and running down my neck. I look up. Sure enough. There is a big fat hole in the umbrella. I have already left the house so at this point I am subjected to using the useless thing for the remainder of the day.

Now I am thinking to myself, “Constellation Energy WOULD distribute umbrellas with holes in them to all of their employees”

Note to self: Throw away the constellation energy umbrella.

Email reply from my friend Mike:

The skies are always angry it seems. Well I guess that’s what you get when you trust a product from a faceless corporation. And the worst part? There is no actual person to confront with your anger, just “Constellation Energy”. Sure you can contact a representative, but rest assured they will be in no way responsible for the matter at hand.

Sorry you had to go through that, haha. Oh wait I just had a flash. Remember when I was attacking the trees with the umbrellas (the night I left it at your house)?? Do you think this could have caused the hole?

Nah probably completely unrelated.




Word to the wise: If Constellation Energy ever offers you a free umbrella...do not accept.

xo,
Bridget Marie

Meatloaf = Yummy

Last night, I made Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf for dinner, recipe compliments of my grandmother and Paula Deen.

Ingredients

1 pound ground chuck
10 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 (8-ounce) package sharp Cheddar, grated
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 cup bread crumbs, toasted
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/3 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons prepared mustard
1 (3-ounce) can French fried onions

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large bowl, combine the ground chuck and next 8 ingredients, mixing well.

In a small bowl, combine the ketchup and mustard. Stir 1/4 cup ketchup mixture into meat mixture, reserving remaining ketchup mixture.

Press meat mixture into a 9 by 5 by 3-inch loaf pan, or shape into a loaf and place on a rack in a broiler pan. Spread remaining ketchup mixture over loaf. Bake 40 minutes. Top with French fried onions; bake another 10 to 15 minutes, or until meat is no longer pink.

And you get this: BEFORE:AFTER:

You better believe when there was hardly any left for me to take for lunch today after dinner last night and Jay already having took some for his lunch. I opened the fridge this morning to find a tiny butt piece left. What did I do? I PACKED IT! It was far too tasty to even let the butt piece go to waste!

xo,
Bridget Marie

It’s not supposed to feel good.

As you all know, the lease is up on my apartment on May 1! *roar of applause* And what will I do with the $200.00 security deposit refund, you ask?

….I used it to sign my own death certificate. Yes. It’s true. I signed up for federal hill BOOT CAMP.

For those of you who don’t know, Federal Hill Boot Camp is the most grueling, strenuous, painful, wish-you-were-never-born boot camp in Baltimore City and the surrounding area. You run up hills, jump up hills, run sprints in the sand, carry people on your back, and do pushups until you cry…or so I hear. I’m already weeping just thinking about it.

It is run by quite a large man named Reese:

“DID YOU EAT A BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST?”

I hope he doesn’t scream at me. I’m sensitive.

I haven’t worked out since graduating college…exactly a year ago. I’ve had a few runs here and there since then with the dogs, but nothing an 8-year-old couldn’t match with little difficulty. I haven’t picked up a volleyball in over a year, and people laughed at my pathetic attempt to shoot a basketball from the free throw line the other day in the park. I used to be GOOD. Anyway, my point is, I’m out of shape. And I don’t think my 6-chocolate-chip-cookie-dinner-lineup is helping much either.

I guess Spring Fever makes you do stupid things. I’m looking forward to a good ass-kicking.

Thank you Apartment L; I think that’s the best gift you’ve ever given me. Once again, your generosity is overwhelming.

xo,
Bridget Marie

The Return of the Broken Hot Water Heater STRIKES AGAIN!

The weekend began Friday afternoon in some beautiful Baltimore spring weather. I ate dinner at RA Sushi with some friends and then returned home. I had to stop for gas in the city on a street I wasn’t familiar with. I must say, watching The Wire made me question the integrity and morality of every person I saw walk by. Some guy just pulled up to the stop light in a black escalade with the rap music blaring…that could be Avon. That guy wearing the trench across the street…it could be Omar waiting to whip out his shotgun from his trench and just start blasting people away. No wait. I think I just saw Bubbles.*

Anyway, when I finally got home I put down my bag, hung up my coat, kicked off my shoes, pet the dogs, trudged upstairs, undressed, turned on the water for a bath, and stuck my hand under the water to find that, to my dreaded surprise, it. was. not. hot. I don’t know if I jinxed it, or what, but Jay and I once again fell victim to the Return of the Broken Hot Water Heater, Part TWO! It’s actually quite refreshing washing your hair with not only cold, but ice-cold water. It’s even more fun finding the right yoga position that will allow you to stick your head under the faucet in the bathtub while concurrently balancing on the nearby toilet seat and wedging part of your body between the tub and toilet bowl. If you ever find yourself in this predicament, let me save you some time and pain, I find Downward Dog works best.

Happy yoga posing,

Bridget Marie

*If you don’t understand The Wire references, Bubbles is a heroin/cocaine addict who is also homeless. The Avon and Omar sightings are probably a bit of a stretch, but there are a lot of people in Baltimore who look like Bubbles!

The Lick of Love

Week TWO in new house = no hot water, a flooded basement, a broken hot water heater, a surge in the circuit box, a leaky pipe downstairs and lastly, a leak in the roof over the kitchen. This was me last night:

Now, I'm happy to report that we now have hot water, a fixed hot water heater and a temporary tarp over the roof in the kitchen until Jay can get up there this weekend with some roofing tar.

The Lick of Love cures all things.

xo,
Bridget Marie

My 15 minutes has finally come...

B is in b!
You may remember Merlot being featured in Baltimore's b free daily newspaper when she was just a tyke (she won 2nd place!)...

Or perhaps you remember when Moses was in b in December...

Well, today, I was in b! Moses again too!



You can see more of B in b here!
Was this my first time in the newspaper? No. Remember the AVAM's After Glow party I went to? The paparazzi caught us. Check out when Amy Burke and I were SEEN ON THE SCENE in the Baltimore Sun.























Annnnndd...that concludes my 15 minutes of fame.


Thank you, I'll be here all week.


xo,
Bridget Marie

Love: two vowels, two consonants, two fools. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Growing up, I lived with my mom, dad and sister until the age of 18. Then when I went to college, I lived with three roommates for four years…I was known as “the messy one.” After graduation, I lived alone for a year. Currently, I have been living with my boyfriend for a week and a half. I can already see that some adjustments will need to be made on my part to adapt to the arrangement.

Last Monday, I was so excited to receive a Netflix movie in the mail that I had been waiting months for. I immediately popped it in the DVD player and sat down to watch it. Then Jay walked in.

Jay: “What is this?”
Me: er..um…a chick flick
Jay: Well, I can see that. What is it called?
Me: Nights in Rodanthe
Jay: *Sigh*

Because he’s so great (or maybe because there was nothing else for him to do), he actually sat through the horrid film, all the while with me crying at the other end of the couch. Half way through he announced, “I think I’ll go take a shower now.”

When I looked at my Netflix queue the next morning, I thought twice while reviewing it. The six seasons of “Sex in the City” on DVD I had lined up were deleted immediately. Then “The Office” was next to go after that. Jay says I need to find a show as equally entertaining as “The Wire”. Sure. Because without “The Wire”, I'm forced to rely on local news for my fix of appalling urban violence and corruption. Really?

Now existing in my Netflix queue are films such as “Run, Fatboy, Run”. I think that film must speak for itself. I am certainly looking forward to receiving it in the mail. Sense the sarcasm?

Kitchen arrangements are a whole other issue.

Yes, adjustments must be made…ah, the things you do for love.

; - )

xo,
Bridget Marie

Have you ever heard a dachshund say "philanthropic"?

In the spirit of the Easter season, I have been promoting a very good cause, Donate 4 Dachshunds, a fundraiser my friends at Who’s Your Dachshund? And I started together to save long dogs all over the nation.

Then, just last night, Merlot and Moses started nibbling at my ankle and told me that I was “slacking” on my philanthropic efforts this season. Have you ever heard a dachshund say “philanthropic”? Trust me, it’s very cute. I digress. At any rate, my dear friend and fellow dachshund-owner, Dana, told me about the Maryland SPCA’s March for the Animals.
The March for the Animals is The Maryland SPCA's largest annual fundraiser, raising over $380,000 for the animals. It is a 1.5 mile walkathon in support of the SPCA's mission of helping pets and people. The MD SPCA hosts a series of great activities including: pet contests, an agility course, training classes, pet demonstrations and entertainment. Most importantly, all of the money raised goes toward the adoption center, pet owner education, and the care of lost and homeless animals.

Well, when I told Merlot and Moses about this, they simply leapt for joy. So I signed them up for the walkathon this morning online. Merlot wrote a small note last night about what she wanted her donation campaign to say:

“Dee fwends,

momo n me goin to waise monee fo aminals in need. Pleese donate or walk wif us.

We walk good togedah.

Fanks,
Mairlo”

Then Moses got to revise it and he said “Pllllleeeese don’t refer to me as momo, muddah. Dat’s so embarrassing…”

Now, Merlot and Moses have a donation campaign set up with a goal to raise $100.00 in one week! Better yet, anyone who wants to donate, can do so online with a credit card! Philanthropy is so easy these days!! Visit Merlot and Moses’ website if you’re interested in donating or even if you just want to see how much we’ve raised so far!

I’m hoping that there are a few out there who can help us reach our goal, and your donation is much appreciated (and tax deductible, I think!).

xo,
Bridget Marie

And, okay...I made this one...I thought the occasion called for it! ; - )

reflection is the key to learning

Well, I went to college, graduated, and then, was homeless. I signed a lease on my first apartment in May of 2008, and I’ve spent a year living alone with two dachshunds.

If you’ve been reading along, you already know I’m completely moved out of my apartment, and I even wrote it a nice thank you goodbye note. Now it’s time to reflect on the past and share my lessons learned with others…

• You shouldn’t be afraid of the Mexican guy upstairs who may be the first person to come down and knock on your door welcoming you to the apartment complex. He’s probably harmless.

• Chocolate chip cookies and a tall glass of milk make for a really satisfying meal.

• Alone time makes you philosophical: If I eat these three boxes of samoa Girl Scout cookies in one sitting and no one is here to see it, did I really eat them? NOPE.

• You don’t have to deal with roommates who leave crusty, caked-on dishes piling up in the sink. Lord, those are all mine?

• You can take pride in the entertainment center you put together because no one helped you whatsoever and you had to practically stand on your head to hold it together while concurrently screwing in bolts by hand.

• You can listen to the same song over and over again on repeat and there is no one to tell you how irritating it is.

• You can eat directly from containers…standing up in the kitchen…naked.

• A pepper spray keychain comes in handy, even if only used as a threat.

• You can spend an entire Sunday on the couch watching season three of Weeds.

• Make sure you’re tall enough to plug the smoke alarm back on the wall after you beat it off with a broom handle the night before because it was beeping incessantly and you couldn’t reach it.

Well, I'm on to bigger and better things and I can't wait to learn a whole new set of lessons from being a first-time home-owner! I'll be sure to share those with you too.

xo,
Bridget Marie

What did you learn from living alone?

Just a tiny lil' love fest...

Top 10 Reasons I have the best boyfriend in the world:

10. He takes the dogs outside in the morning so I can sleep an extra five minutes and have first dibs on the bathroom.

9. When we watch Jeopardy on TV, we both shout (literally, shout, as if we are on the show) answers to the questions. 97% of the time, both of our answers are completely wrong, but because we’re so in love, we’re comfortable letting our idiocy be known to one another.

8. He watched Nights in Rodanthe, the worst chick-flick movie EVER, with me. We both hated it equally, but he never held it against me.

7. When we get ready to watch the television before bedtime, he lets me lay across the whole couch, while he only sits on the edge.

6. When I want to eat cookies for dinner, he never judges me.

5. He cooks me dinner and he is the only person on this planet who can get me to eat a green vegetable besides green beans.

4. He talks to my dachshunds in a special dachshund voice.

3. He loves my dachshunds more than I love my dachshunds.

2. When my year-long lease was up on my apartment, he bought me a house to live in.









1. One night, I was being sneaky and ate an entire box of samoa girl scout cookies in the kitchen before bed. When Jay walked in and caught me before I was about to eat the last one, he asked if we could split it. I immediately shoved the whole thing in my mouth and smiled, no, we cannot. He still loved me after that. If the roles had been reversed, he would be sleeping on the couch for the rest of the week. The number one reason Jay is the best boyfriend ever: he loves me enough to let me have the whole cookie, even when it’s the last one.

xo,
Bridget Marie

Couch hunting is a very popular sport

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you (drum roll please) our new couch and chair:
Description as stated online:

• Covered in a sumptuous, chocolate chenille.
• Hardwood frame rests on beautifully shaped tri-leg bun feet.
• Three overstuffed, detached back cushions and reversible seat cushions ensure the longevity of the sofa.
• The 5 accent pillows consist of 3 brown and 2 light turquoise designs.
• The low, rolled arm and low-profile frame create smooth, clean lines.
• Coordinating Loveseat, Chair and Ottoman also available.
• The extra long sofa measures: 97" Wide, 44" Deep and 38" High

This chair feels like laying in a poofy cloud. It is almost just as big as the loveseat and when you push the ottoman up to it, it's like a mini bed. Absolute heaven...


So, after measuring our living room last night we decided to go with just the extra long sofa and the over-sized comfy chair and ottoman. I know opting out of the loveseat is a tad untraditional - but we don't want to clutter the space with too much furniture - and just getting the sofa and the chair will really fit and work for our space. The salesman did say that this set is completely out of stock until May 6, so we wouldn't have it in the house for another couple of weeks...womp, womp.

That being said, here is what the matching loveseat looks like:
What would you do? Go with the sofa and loveseat? Or choose the sofa and comfy chair? No purchases have been made yet (these pictures are simply the product of three and a half hours spent at Value City Furniture last night trying to pick a couch out!) I would love your input!
Oh...did I mention the couch and chair will be compliments of Muddah and Faddah!? Thanks Mom & Dad!
Let me know what you think in a comment or an email!
xo,
Bridget Marie
Bridget.Forney@gmail.com

Breaking up is hard to do.

Dear Apartment L,

We’ve had some good times you and I. I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, but I think it’s time you knew, there is someone else. This note will be the last memory you'll ever have of me. Don't let it get you all upset inside, I blame your landlord. It is because of your rent rate that keeps me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you. You and I used to make such a good team, but as it turns out, the grass is greener on the other side…for me, at least.

You'd be much better off finding a person that can deal with the wonderful way you’re located in the basement.

I might miss certain things about you such as the time the toilet flooded the hallway and the maintenance men had to come vacuum all the water up. Or perhaps that time the utility closet flooded through the kitchen and maintenance had to come again to bleach the cabinets and scrub out all the mold.

I think it will be trying for me to get used to a normal smoke alarm, as well. One that doesn’t go off just because someone walked by it and a presence of air wafted near it. But embracing the new change is a risk I am willing to take.

I think I’ll also rest easier in the summer time knowing I don’t have to grab for the Raid spray first thing when I wake up in the morning in case I encounter a roach in the hallway on my way to the kitchen. On that same note, I’ll save a lot more vinegar not having to set gnat traps around the kitchen sink.

All in all, I'm glad this is done and we're going separate directions for good. I think you'll find someone more suited to tolerate the incessant yelling, tantrums and fist fights brought to us by the upstairs “neighbors.” I'll never again have a yard littered with their dog's basket-sized dumps because they couldn't read the sign "clean up after your animal."

Don’t get me wrong, you were a great first apartment, but if all goes as planned, we probably will never speak to each other again.

Have a nice life,
Bridget
P.s. I know letting go is hard, but try to keep the stalking to a minimum.
Pps. Thanks for being such a pal during Merlot and Moses’ potty-training. You took it like a champ.

Helping long dogs everywhere...

You may be asking yourself this fine Easter season, "How can I give back? How can I give more of myself to others?" Well, look no further, Dr. Bridget has the answers to all your questions..er..well these two questions, anyways!

As some of you may know, I write for a blog called Who's Your Dachshund and we have just launched something very special and near and dear to my heart. I created a fundraiser with my friends from Who's Your Dachshund? just for the two things in my life that give me the greatest joy, my dachshunds!

We are trying to raise as much money as possible (with a $5,000 goal!) during the month of April for ten animal shelters throughout Canada, the United States and South Africa - one for each of the blog's ten contributors! Just as one of my fellow bloggers (and inspiration for the fundraiser!) put it, skipping your Starbucks today could keep a puppy cozied up in a new blanket tomorrow.

As of this post, we are currently 12% of the way there!


THE IDEA...

Being the owners of smaller canine companions – physically at least – we know first-hand how something so small can have such a big impact on our lives. I’m not even going to bother asking if you could imagine a life without your pups. For that reason, it’s only natural that we as animal lovers come together to accomplish something BIG to change the lives of vulnerable animals around the world.

Over the past month, the ten contributors of WYD have connected with nearby animal shelters from Nova Scotia to South Africa; each one filled with incredible people giving abandoned animals the love and attention they deserve. So we figured, why not give each of these shelters a little love and attention of their own?

THE CHALLENGE...

...collect as many donations as we possibly can by the end of April to split between these phenomenal shelters. You can donate securely using our ChipIn widget below. We will be over the moon with even the smallest contributions :)

If you aren't able to contribute financially, there are plenty of other ways you can help spread the word that will be just as appreciated! You can even click 'Copy' on the donation widget to get the HTML code that you can use to include the widget in your own blog posts!

THE DIFFERENCE...

Here are the organizations that we'll be working with over the next month. We'll give you updates and insights into the world of animal rescue and the massive benefit that they have on the lives of millions of animals worldwide. Look forward to video diaries, messages from volunteers, amazing adoption stories and lots of prizes!

Bide Awhile
Tiny Paws Dog Rescue
Midwest Dachshund Rescue
All American Dachshund Rescue
Dachshund Rescue of North America - Maryland Chapter
Dachshund Rescue NW
Central Texas Dachshund Rescue
Second Chance Animal Refuge Society
Kitty and Puppy Haven
FACE Low-cost Spay/Neuter Clinic

TOUGH ECONOMY...CAN'T DONATE?...

That's okay! There are a BUNCH of other ways you can use your voice to get others in on the effort by using this new, wonderful thing called SOCIAL MEDIA!

FACEBOOK USERS

Status Update
YourName is making a little go a long way to help vulnerable animals around the world http://tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds

Profile Picture

Update with a picture with your pet and add this description:

Helping animals find happiness by making a little go a long way: http://tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds

Write a note or message your friends

As a pet owner and animal lover I know first-hand how something so small can have such a big impact on our lives. I’m not even going to bother asking if any of you could imagine a life without your pets. For that reason, it’s only natural that we come together to accomplish something BIG to change the lives of vulnerable animals around the world.

I'm helping a team of people raise as much money as possible in support of ten animal shelters across Canada, the United States and South Africa. I'd love if you'd help by donating what you can but there are plenty of other ways to get involved too. Check http://tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds the full details.

BLOGGERS

Write a post

Use the note template above or just share a great story about your pet. We'd appreciate if you would add a link to http://tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds or you can actually embed our ChipIn widget right into your own post. Just click on the 'Copy' tab of the widget above to grab the HTML code.

If you write a post, come back here and share your link in the comment section and I'll post all of them on April 15. I'll even choose some winners at random who will receive some great prizes!

Add a banner

Feel free to use one of our great banners graciously designed and donated by the wonderful Grunge Geek Design shop. Just add them to your post, link them up to http://www.tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds, and you're all set!

TWITTER USERS:

Tweet

Making a little go a long way to help vulnerable animals around the world: http://tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds #Donate4Dachshunds

Twitpic

Upload a picture of your pet with the following description:

Helping animals find happiness by making a little go a long way: http:tinyurl.com/donate4dachshunds #Donate4Dachshunds

Thank you for all your donations and help and word-of-mouth advertising. Help a long dog near you...it can count as your good deed for the day!

xo,
Bridget Marie

Ps. Make sure you follow me on twitter.com/bridgetforney and WYD at twitter.com/dachshundblog to get announcements for the most recent donations!
Thanks and love to all!

When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies

Good afternoon, everyone! For those of you who have not yet heard the good news: Jay and I made it to settlement yesterday afternoon, we signed the deed and we are OFFICIALLY homeowners! I uploaded some pictures of our new house for everyone to see! Enjoy!

We move in this weekend and we are both really excited!

Thank you for everyone's support through the emotional roller coaster of home-buying!






























xo,
Bridget Marie